Sunday, December 31, 2006

What's Going Down?

Stop, children, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down...



Love the muppets, in fact my sister just called me a Fraggle... I'd disagree except she's probably right ;-) I've pre-post this for New Years Day 2007, take a look at your life and what's going on around you and do something about it! :-)

New Year's resolutions are in full swing ;-)

Broken Glasses?

1 hour prescriptions:



(Actually aired on TV in Europe!)

Happy New Years everyone! Hope your 2007 is as good or better than your 2006 :-)

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Maybe Tomorrow

I've been down and I'm wondering why,
These little black clouds keep walking around,
With me, with me.

It wastes time, and I'd rather be high,
Think I'll walk me outside, and buy a rainbow smile,
But be free, they're all free.

So maybe tomorrow,
I'll find my way home.
So maybe tomorrow,
I'll find my way home...

I look around at a beautiful life,
Been the upperside of down, been the inside of out,
But we breathe, we breathe.

I wanna breeze and an open mind,
I wanna swim in the ocean,
Wanna take my time for me, all me.

So maybe tomorrow,
I'll find my way home.
So maybe tomorrow,
I'll find my way home...

- Stereophonics


Culturalize Yourself

Stuttgart has more to offer than you can imagine, culturalize yourself in 2007! :-)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

The Night Before Christmas

Tis was the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Except maybe a mouse!



Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Santa's good to you all! :-)

EuroRoss will be on hiatus during my holiday travels this week so until the New Year: Cheers and safe travels! :-)

A Grinch, But a Charitable One

Don't worry, this isn't all going to be me being grumpy about Christmas, but I have to get that part off my chest so if you don't want to read it you can skip the next few paragraphs.

First off, why the hell is Christmas a national holiday? It is the only national holiday with non-secular origins. Despite the fact that it has become a seemingly non-religious orgy of bling and material cravings, its very name "Christ-mas" betrays where it comes from. In the spring we've got spring break and a scattering of holidays that go along with it. Some people still refer to it as "Easter Break" and that's their right. But there is no national Easter holiday. I've got nothing against "Winter Break" or celebrating the solstice - a natural phenomenon - but I don't want my government giving legal standing to anything of religious origin, no matter how far it has travelled away from its creche. With all the current battling over the separation of church and state, it astounds me that Christmas has managed to somehow stay above the fray. Maybe that's because everyone's afraid if they say anything about it they won't get any presents under their tree.

It's hardly worth carrying on about the dreadful, oppressive music; the forced and often hypocritical good cheer and goodwill; the porcine greed of shopkeepers preying on the terror that parents and partners and nearly everyone else has of not satisfying the craven desires of those who expect gifts; or the traffic.

Well, maybe I will whine about the traffic. Where do they all come from? Does half the population avoid going out in public the rest of the year? It seems as if people who neither drive nor shop on a regular basis, suddenly emerge from hiding and hit the streets and stores in a tsunami that sweeps all before it. Addled by their daunting tasks, no less so than if they were on heavy drugs, they smash into each other on highways and roads, in parking lots, with shopping carts, careening down sidewalks laden with loot.

If you're a Christmas lover, it's safe to read from here on...

Okay, so now you know I don't like Christmas. The best Christmas I ever spent was in Dakar, Senegal. I ate a fantastic pepper steak and drank a great bottle of red wine. Then I went and danced and boozed the night away with a crowd of about three dozen prostitutes, one white girl from Oregon (my traveling companion) and a dozen or so men - eight of whom were in the band that played in a scrapwood barn of a place near the railroad tracks. We all went out to breakfast on the beach when the sun rose.

But still, it's that time of year and you've gotta give gifts or suffer the consequences. Luckily it's also near the end of the year when it makes sense to work out your tax deductions - a much more honest reason for giving this time of year then trying to promote the fiction that something about the season makes you feel more generous than usual. I'm not saying that my charitable impulses are entirely pure. I tend to donate money throughout the year whenever it occurs to me to do so, or it seems like it might be needed. I even donate to organizations such as the ACLU that do not bestow tax deductions on me.

It is a very good thing that there are charities who do a good job of doing our dirty work for us.

This year, as I tend to every year, I donated what I could to Doctors Without Borders. I'm not about to go to Darfur and get in everybody's way trying to help in a refugee camp. They are. And they do a great job of it without any political or religious agenda to promote. They also have one of the best ratios of program spending to administrative and fund raising costs in the charity biz. I made a donation in the name of the Stone Family and sent cards. The relatives are going to have to make do this year with some antibiotics and rehydration in Central Africa rather than another ugly sweater, book I know they won't read unless I buy it for them, CD of music I want them to like or the latest breakable toy or gadget.

Eva and I went to Heifer International on behalf of the nieces and nephew. They've now got some money with which they can pick out a farm animal to donate to a needy Third World family. It's a great idea and seems like the sort of thing that might get kids involved in charity in a fun sort of way. (We're kind of hoping they don't notice the part of the catalog where it points out that the cute little bunny rabbits make good eating.) But then the nine-year-old niece said: "Not another water buffalo." Apparently another set of relatives had the same idea. We'll show her. They're probably coming to visit next year. I think I've got a good rabbit recipe somewhere.

As for Eva, luckily she doesn't like bling and we've got a moratorium on buying any more wine for the house. She did love Cambodia when we were there. And she is adamant on many women's issues. A column by Nicholas Kristoff in today's NY Times (you might have to be a registered reader to use this link) gave me a good idea. I got her a year of school for a girl in Cambodia. I got one for me too while I was at it. With some extra money thrown in to help build and stock and staff a school. This was all done through an organization started by a journalist, called American Assistance for Cambodia. This group will be hearing more from my bank account during the coming year. My next book which will be published in Fall 2007, GRAVE IMPORTS, is about the smuggling of stolen Cambodian antiquities. It seems only fair that some of the proceeds will find their way back to that country.

That was the seasonal gift giving taken care of. Throughout the year I also coughed up bucks to a number of other worthy (IMHO) causes: The Emma Goldman Papers Project, The Center for Inquiry (Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal), Books for Laos, Fringe Benefits, and a few other things connected to events and local museums and NPR stations.

I am not writing all this to demonstrate how great and caring I am. But these are organizations that I think are doing important and good work and that I like to support. I'm hoping that at least a few of my readers might come across this blather of mine, be looking for a place to send some of their money, and might consider donating to some of these groups as well.

For your information, here's how I decide what organizations to donate to:

I'm an atheist, so they can't have any religious affiliation, much less agenda.

My politics are a complicated mishmash of things. I am not any sort of ---ist, (other than the previously mentioned lack of religious belief.) I don't believe in any sort of ---ism. (There was a time when I described myself as a "Groucho Marxist" but I won't even go that far anymore.) So if it is an aid organization, they can't have any sort of political affiliation or agenda either.

I don't think that professional do-gooders should be getting fat off my donations, so I do what I can to make sure that a much higher percentage of my money is going to the actual projects, than is going to administrative and fund raising expenses. In 2005, for instance, 85.71% of the money raised by Doctors Without Borders went to program services. That is a very high percentage. A good place to start figuring this out is Charity Navigator.

And sometimes I just donate to things that I appreciate for the fruits of their labors. The Emma Goldman Papers Project is an example of that. I think they are creating an archive of significant historical importance and interest, in a field that has been sorely neglected. (I've also loved reading the first two volumes of the four volume set that they're working to put out.)

So I guess that's my Season's Greetings to you all. Next Fall will see the publication of GRAVE IMPORTS (look for Chapter One, or an excerpt on the website sometime in the next few months), as well as the paperback of THE LIVING ROOM OF THE DEAD. I'm currently working on a new novel that has nothing to do with my Ray Sharp series and I'm raking through the coals that make up my brain in an attempt to come up with a good non-fiction topic that will give me an excuse to travel.

Let's hope we all have a great New Year and that 2007 sees at least a little improvement over 2006.

Santa's Coming... Or Not?!?

Well boys and girls, it's that time of year again! I certainly hope you've all been good as Santa's on his way... or is he?? :-)



Merry Christmas everyone and happy new year!! :-)

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Vegtables

With all the Christmas fun and cheer (that should read "cake and eggnog"), don't forget to eat your vegtables!



What?? :-)

Friday, December 22, 2006

Sandsnow

It's a great Christmas to be home with family, enjoying the cold, skates, home cookin', gifts, you name it! Some of my friends down south have a different vision of Christmas that isn't all too shaby either:



Only 4 weeks till I get back, keep that coco-glass filled and cold for me! :-)

Thursday, December 21, 2006

VFB Stuttgart 4 - Bochum NULL!

Geiles ding! :-)



Berlin, Berlin. Wir fahren noch Berlin!

Maldives

The Maldives is definatly on the travel list, unfortunatly with my current sched I doubt I can get there before the end of 2008. Don't shed any tears for me though ;-) I'll be getting to more than my fair share in 2007 :-)

Beautiful though isn't it? I wonder how the reconstruction after the tsunami is going:



And from beauty we turn to... a future picture of me on the beach. Turn away, turn away!! :-)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Party Time!

Neon palms? Oh yeah, let's get this party started!! :-)



X-mas holidays have officially begun, tomorrow I take the train home for a week of festive cheer, but for now... :-)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Walking Is Lame

Love this billboard ad:



(via Okdork)

Super-Hero Saved

Oh my, I'm dizzy, am I falling?? I think I need to be saved, perhaps by a super-hero. I think I need...



;-)

Monday, December 18, 2006

No You Didn't Just Hear That

Can I drink mine inside a paper bag like Daddy does?

Mistress Eva is Dead


http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sonoma/09.02.99/norvind-9935.html

I knew this woman. I recently found out that she died. When Eva, my Eva, the one I now live with, first called me at my mother's house many years ago and my mother picked up the phone, my mother was most disappointed that she wasn't "Mistress Eva."

I met Mistress Eva when I lived in Los Angeles before moving to Hong Kong, I think around 1982 or so. I lived in the lower part of a duplex. One day I went upstairs at around 5pm to ask my neighbor a question. My neighbor, a witch who had coven meetings every full moon, wasn't home. But the front door was open and a tall blonde woman wearing a skintight black and purple leather body suit unzipped to about her belly button with, maybe, seven inch spike-heeled boots, was sitting on the sofa and drinking a Miller Hi-Life out of the bottle while listening to some sort of syrupy folk music.

I introduced myself. She introduced herself as Eva. She asked if I wanted a beer. I got a beer and sat on the sofa with her and we chatted about this, that and the other thing, mostly politics, art and music. I seem to recall that she liked John Irving and got annoyed with me when I said that he kept writing the same book over and over and over and I hoped that one day he'd feel like he got it right. I slowly worked the conversation around to what, exactly, it was that she did.

She whipped people, of course, and tormented them in various other ways as well. Mostly men, mostly powerful, rich men, but some women too. She didn't ever touch them, never. The closest she got to that was when something she was holding, like a whip or a cattle prod, touched them. And they certainly never touched her. And she charged a minimum of $300 per hour for this. She lived in New York and was visiting L.A. for the grand opening of a new dungeon in West Hollywood, and to visit some clients, and somehow or another she ended up staying with my upstairs neighbor.

So Mistress Eva and I became pals. Most days she'd get home from work and I'd be at home because I was writing and doing photography and worked out of my home, and she would more often than not change into jeans and a t-shirt and we'd get a bit drunk together and chat.

She finally invited my neighbor and I to the grand opening of the dungeon. It was on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. We walked in and were offered a tray with glasses of champagne, served by a middle-aged man in a French maid outfit. We wandered about the place, nibbling on canapes and sucking back champagne and good French wine and having casual conversations while all around us people were being whipped, sliced with razors, stuck in holes in the floor with only their heads poking out so that they could be more easily peed on, and any manner of other Sadeian sort of goings on, going on. Eva was too busy to talk much with us. At one point I brought her a white wine and a smoked salmon with creme fraiche and caper on toast, then briefly held her whip for her while she consumed them.

I lost track of Mistress Eva not long after that. But then a friend of hers, a beautiful crazy, brilliant Mexican filmmaker came to stay upstairs. One night I got a knock on my door at about 2am and it was Mistress Eva’s friend in tears. My upstairs neighbor had raped her, or tried to, or made very unwelcome advances, or something. I took her in. I gave her something to drink. I asked if she wanted to call the cops, take a shower, sit in a chair, whatever. She jumped my bones. We had about a one month fucked up, torrid affair that ended with my screaming at her when one night I was sick - 103 degree fever, throwing up, shaking and shivering sick - and we had a dinner date and I called to tell her that I couldn't make it. She showed up at my place a half hour later - she was no longer living upstairs - and practically tore down my door, stormed around my tiny little apartment demanding to know where I was keeping "the whore" and ended up scratching the hell out of me. She didn't believe that I was sick. Unfortunately I had already puked up everything I had in me, so I couldn't vomit on her to make her understand.

Then she went away and that was the last I ever saw or heard of her.

Until now. Many years passed. I’m now a guy with a website. You can see where this is going. So who do I get an email from out of the blue but Mistress Eva’s friend, the crazy, Mexican filmmaker. She is somewhere, I think in Mexico. She remembers me fondly. (I remember her fondly, with some reservations, too.) She remembers my "watery eyes" and thinks they had something to do with me being a Cancer, or is that a Gemini? (I think they must have had something to do with allergies.) Mistress Eva is dead, she writes, drowned in Mexico while making a film about a man with no arms. “She gave herself to [the sea], naked , free ... and stubborn. She was told the sea was too rough, she replied that she was an excellent swimmer.”

Once again, the wonders of the Internet. It is increasingly difficult to hide from one’s past. I’m not so sure I want to anyhow.

Stuttgart Morning

A great Stuttgart morning...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Christmas Party's In Stuttgart

Enjoy the gluehwein, gluwein, gluewein, gluhwine, gluwine, gluvine, etc...

The spelling changes depending on nationality and even more importantly: how many you've had! ;-)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Is He?

If a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is there to hear it fall, does it still make a noise?

If a man voices an opinion, and there are no women around to hear it, is he still wrong? ;-)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Odds and Ends

Some odds and ends from around the internet:

What are the odds we'll die by...

13 things we just... don't... know.

Create a Shutdown icon on your desktop (winXP).

Tips on better learning.

Curiously gross, funny and baffeling, urine sliding:



Fifty mistakes men make when having sex... or eight things women do wrong in bed. 50 to 8, not as bad a ratio as I thought ;-)

Instead of buying that PS3, do one of these things.

Speed up the pace of innovation, iterate.

Number of allocated IP's per country. Canada clocks in at #3 with over 2 per person... I own 5, therefor I must be eating someone else's share of the pie ;-)

The internet is weird.

Ten steps to mental fitness.

Christmas is coming:



I'm outie...

Prick

Today I was waiting at checkout with my tomatos and fresh bread when I noticed about 20 ft. away an old woman with a walker that couldn't seem to coordinate opening the door, holding on to all her bags and advancing her walker all at the same time. As I'm moving through checkout about 10 different people just go walking through the adjacent door, some activily having to move over a door to avoid holding open the door for this woman. It took all of 5 seconds for me to leave the line and go help this person so it makes me wonder why and how someone actually at the door couldn't or wouldn't help this woman.

Does this happen often in Canada? I wonder and certainly hope not!

Pricks.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Artificial Intelligence

Wow! The machines have become aware! Just hours ago the first reported robot became self-aware at a university in Canada. When questioned about what he'd like to do first now that he had entered self-concious life with all the available choices, the robot just said he had one desire (click the picture):



Hockey. It's in our blood... and wires ;-)

Update: Although maybe we don't have too much to worry about yet: (wait until about half way through)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,
That don’t bother me.
I can take a few tears now and then and just let em' out.
I’m not afraid to cry - every once - in a while,
Even though - going on - with you gone - still upsets me.
There are days - every now - and again - I pretend - I’m ok,
But that’s not what gets me.

What hurts the most,
Was being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away...

And never knowing,
What could have been.
And not seeing that loving you,
Is what I was tryin’ to do.

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go,
But I’m doin’ It.
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone,
Still harder.
Getting up - getting dressed - livin’ with - this regret - but I know,
If I could do it over,
I would trade - give away - all the words - that I saved - in my heart,
That I left unspoken.

What hurts the most,
Is being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away...

And never knowing,
What could have been.
And not seeing that loving you,
Is what I was trying to do.

What hurts the most,
Is being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away...

And never knowing,
What could have been,
And not seeing that loving you,
Is what I was trying to do.
That’s what I was trying to do...


- Rascal Flatts

Lazy Gopher Sunday

It's another lazy Sunday afternoon... waddup' my little lazy buddies? :-)

Saturday, December 9, 2006

Hangin'

Taking a few days to just hang with the lads...



(via Gadling)

Russian Hockey

When's the next time I'm going to be able to get to Russia? I don't know, but it's the middle of the hockey season and I haven't gotten to a SKA game yet!!



If the app's for a VISA weren't so painfully slow I could get to St. Petersburg to spend my hard earned tourist dollars! Jeez.

Snowman Holdup

Hilarious...

Friday, December 8, 2006

Critical Decision

My sister got this critical decision exercise in for todays Friday afternoon capper:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Think about it.

The Answer: Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!! :-)

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Frog Or Horse?

What do you see? A frog...



...or a horse?



(via Mighty Illusions)

Crotch Police

Watch out everyone, or the "jerking authority" might track you down! ;-)



(via Vowe)

Options

Having options is good :-)

Beer Opera

I've posted this before, but it's that good. I love beer commercials and this is definatly in my top 3:

Loyalty

Coyotes are extremely loyal to their mates. If one is caught in a trap, the other will bring small game for it to eat; it will soak itself in a river to allow its thirsty mate to chew on its damp fur for water. It has been documented that the free coyote will stay with its captive partner until death.

- National Geographic


I always wondered what exactly was happening at that bar! ;-)

Waterfall Heaven

Apparently the Hamilton region has more waterfalls than any other in Canada (70+ if I recall). Anyways don't take my word for it, watch the waterfalls video! This one is near Stoney Creek:

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Hallo-way Late

So I meant to post this way back during Halloween and never quite got to it (not bad, I'm only what, 2 months late? ;-)

Some cool Jack-O-Lanterns:



And for those of you that can't handle a Halloween post this late I give you a friendly Hallow moon! :-)

This Is The Truth

It's all about perspective, listen until at least the half way point and you'll be amazed:

Dress Code

So what exactly are you trying to say about my woredrobe?!?! ;-)

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

PA

Things are going really well. Tomorrow I've got my year end PA (performance appraisal) at work so for the past week or so I've been codifying my goals, both professional and personal :-)

Looking back on everything that was accomplished this year it's pretty amazing if I do say so myself. In fact I'm gearing up for an even better 2007... more on that as it comes ;-)

It's time to blast off! ;-)

1960's Burger Joint

Don't you just miss the 60's? Well ok I guess I wasn't even around in the 60's, but the old style burger joints we see in the movies and on TV sure do look appealing. Imagine my surprise when I found this retro hamburger restaurant where all the empoyees can out and did a little sing and dance number for everyone:



Too bad I couldn't get the movie function on my camera activated fast enough! If you're in the Clearwater Florida area then go check out "Hamburgers" at the I90 mall. :-)

Got Change?

How can you have 10 coins that ensures you will always have exact change for anything under a dollar?



Answer:

3 Quarters
1 Dime
2 Nickles
4 Pennies

Monday, December 4, 2006

Casting A Shadow

Who says I always get my pics of the day from Gadling? Today's is highly appropriate given the gloomyness outside and comes via Zooomrhits. Shadowy goodness:

Copy Title Of The Day

A great title on a Flickr photo:

"Jesus is not allowed to do his stuff here":

Space: The Final Frontier

A quick 6 minute snapshot of our universe. I wonder how the discovery of life on other planets outside our solar system would affect our religious beliefs and political structures... ok I guess it's time to go back to work! ;-)

Sens Rule!

MY Ottawa Senators were struggling badly this year, were sitting outside of a playoff spot, had total inconsistant goaltending from their new $3.5 million dollar goalie and had everyone else on their back that they were an also-ran team.

Don't go jumping on our bandwagon now!

Of late we are picking up steam and starting to return to the Sens that we all know and love. Case and point this highlight reel goal from Vermette that shows why us true Sens fans are Sens fans:



PS> Leafs SUCK!

Conferences Abound

Conference and seminar season is about to cool off a bit until the new year (I've decided not to go to Les Blogs this year) and as of Thursday's finale of the Active Living and Healthy Eating Conference I'm cruising towards the festive holidays :-)

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Last Sunset

My last sunset in Florida, and my last post on my Florida trip:

GTD

Getting things done! It's taken constant computer time since Friday evening but after two and a half days I'm finally at ground zero again:


  • All 6 personal e-mail boxes sorted, responded and emptied.
  • All RSS saved links reviewed, read and deleted.
  • All downloaded media content catagorized and sorted.

All in all I've gone through over 3500 pieces of e-mail, links or content! Digitally I'm back up to speed. I plan on going through the same process for my work e-mails, links and project list over the next 2 weeks as things are already slowing down for the holidays.

Whew, I hope to never let it ever get that bad again, but like a diet I'm sure it's not going to take long to fall off the digital wagon ;-)

Monster Truck

If there's one saying that I certainly feel Americans live by it's "go big or go home". Why not do both? Go BIG with your custom converted Ford truck (that would scare the pants off any transport truck!) and drive home while you're at it!



Global warming?!? What are they talking about?!? ;-)

David Copperfake

You all know the famous magician David Copperfield, now experience the magic of David Copperfake!

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Florida Redux

Today it was frickin' freezing outside! Last week I was waking up early for a leisurely stroll... along the beach,



...relaxing with some ice cream... along the beach,



...and enjoying a cold beer as the sun set... along the beach!



So long ago... sigh. ;-)

Robot Beauty

Yesturday in a presentation my partner and I were doing in front of about 35 people I was speaking about the benefits and uses of measurement as it relates to customer service, program analysis and strategic decision making when some of the audience's eyes started to glaze over. I was losing them on some of the jargon, but my recovery was exquisit:

"Sorry guys, sometimes I sound like a robot"

Pulled em' back from the edge ;-) Math can be beautiful however, just take a look at some of these fractals and tell me math can't be beautiful!